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10 things that will happen, not "might", "will."

With the season kicking off tonight, every where you look in the paper, on TV or on line people are making their predictions. Well, I’ve read enough, so now I need to share with you what’s really going to happen. These aren’t predictions, this just simple fact. Here are some of the things that will happen in football before Tuesday morning:

1. Deuce McAllister will post better numbers than Reggie Bush this week, but Bush will do something that will remind us all of Sanders and Vick. I see one of those 6 yard runs that takes 2 minutes where about 8 guys miss tackles.

2. The Niners will not be as bad as everyone predicts and the game against the Cardinals will be close

3. TO will have a big game and everyone will act like nothing ever happened and the Cowboys (especially the Tuna) are geniuses for signing him. In 3 weeks when he really melts down, the media will forget everything they said and act like Dallas is the stupidest franchise in sports for taking him on. Don’t you wish sometimes there was some group whose job it was to take the media to task and hold them even the slightest bit accountable for all the dumb stuff they say?

4. Pittsburg will look bad and confused tonight as Miami rolls to a big early lead and easy victory. Pitt will be better than they look tonight, but something tells me we won’t see their A game.

5. Tatum Bell will outperform Mike Bell in Denver

6. Eli will beat Payton in a shootout and the experts will clamor to get aboard the Giants bandwagon

7. The second MNF game which features Aaron Brooks and the Raiders against Phlip Rivers and the bolts will be the lowest rated MNF game ever. It starts after 10 on the east coast and people on the west coast know enough to know that if Jeff George is threatening your job, you are not a QB worth watching.

8. Due to various commitments, I will spend roughly 5 times the amount of time thinking about football as I do watching football this weekend. Just a sad state of affairs.

9. Detroit will upset Seattle and have everyone a buzz with how good they look on offense.

10. Joe Theisman will make me miss Dan Dierdorf, something previously thought to be impossible and Kornheiser will start openly mocking him before the 4th quarter.

Comments

cwinwc said…
1. I agree. He wasn’t a full-timer at USC so why should we expect anything more than a “6 yard/2 minute run” from Bush. Or perhaps it is the coming of the end for the “one feature back backfield?”

2. Could the “USC” factor in the quarterback position make you wrong on this one?

3. Yes and Yes!

4. My “Fins” were defeated by a “Batch” of passes, over 200 yards.

5. Agreed.

6. Let’s see how much Payton misses Edgerrin James.

7. Probably so. How I miss the days of Howard Cosell, Dandy Don, and “the pre-Kathy Lee” Frank Gifford.

8. I’m very familiar with that “state.”

9. Could it be a Super-Bowl let down for the Seahawks?

10. I hope that happens.
Josh Stump said…
SL, nice. Good work. I'm moving you into the StumpTown "Platinum Club" which will entitle you to special privileges and fabulous prizes.

Clint, you've got some issues clearly. No sane person could disagree with me so thoroughly, or depend so heavily on Daunte Culpepper in fantasy football.

That said, I'm off to a rough start as number 4 didn't exactly go as planned. I can't believe how unprofessional Miami was to not do what I said they would. Shame on them.

Cwinwc,

You're a Dolphins fan? Ouch. That game had to hurt then because that team was supposed to be a QB away and now it likes like they still might be. He could bounce back, but that was a rough, rough start for him. on the plus side, Ronnie looked good when they were willing to give him the ball. Will Chris Chambers ever be anything more than a streaky WR with tons of potential? Not if they don't throw to him.

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